Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize