Apparently you make a good broom.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
