i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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