come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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