did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i think i just lost a toe
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
