brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Naked Twister starts at high noon
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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