Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
