Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
