I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
