He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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