I CAN MOONWALK!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize