I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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