the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
