I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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