You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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