A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
