pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
