party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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