How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
whose parrot is this?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
