So drunk its hurt
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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