its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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