mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
And then my night got REAL pukey
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
