miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
