Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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