Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
