I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
