hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
