Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
