Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
