I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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