so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
This is the high leading the old right now
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
