Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
