Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
