Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
