Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You smell like a Billy Joel song
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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