so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
