He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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