Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Why are your pants in the freezer?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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