p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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