we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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