I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
