That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
