thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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