everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
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