i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
