Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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