ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
