I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
