I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
