i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
