her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
