I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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