My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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