I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
