She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
