Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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