My balls are so social today.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize