Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
