So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
