When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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