i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
