you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
