You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
