Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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