wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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